Ask Lambda Legal

From June, 2010 eNews Vol. 7 No. 6

Q: I was excited to read about President Obama’s memo telling the government to make sure hospitals allow gay and lesbian partners visitation rights. So if my partner is hospitalized, they’ll let me in, right?

A: We wish it were that simple. The President issued his order after Lambda Legal client Janice Langbehn was denied access to her dying partner at a Florida hospital even though they had done all of the power of attorney paperwork. While the final regulations for the memo aren't finished it will likely mean that in most hospitals, as long as you have your life planning documents, you should not be barred from seeing your partner. But it still is critical to complete and carry your life planning documents with you.

And while we’re on the subject—there are five vital life planning documents that everyone should have in place, by our count. While marriage and some other legal statuses (like civil unions and domestic partnerships in some states) provide many of the same protections, those protections won’t necessarily apply depending where you travel or if you change addresses between states. So make sure you’re familiar with these and that you carry all of them with you when you travel (except your will, which has confidential information and isn’t as time-sensitive as the others):

A living will tells medical professionals and your advocates what you want to happen if you need certain medical intervention to stay alive.

A health care proxy (also known as a durable power of attorney for health care) is a document you sign to make sure that the right person makes medical decisions for you when you can’t make them yourself, and that everyone knows your wishes about key health care decisions that could become necessary.

A financial power of attorney is used to appoint someone you trust to take care of things like paying bills if you can’t do it yourself.

A funeral directive/disposition of remains lists your instructions for any funeral arrangements, including who should be in charge, and for what to do with your body.

A will is a legal document which sets out the way you want your possessions to be distributed after you die. When you don’t have a will, you die “intestate,” which means state law dictates how your property will be distributed—and often your same-sex partner and other people you care about will not be on the state's list.

Other things to think about, depending on your circumstances:

For some people, creating a Living Trust to hold assets is a good option. If you own real estate in more than one state, if you are particularly concerned about privacy issues, and/or if you want to maximize the ability for a loved one to stand in for you and make decisions about your property if you aren't able to do so yourself, talk with your attorney about whether a living trust is a good and economical choice for you.

If you and your same-sex partner are raising a minor child or children together and you intend that both of you are to be recognized as parents, it is very important that you take steps to confirm all of the parent-child relationships legally, through second/step-parent adoption or other means such as co-parenting or guardianship agreements. Be sure to designate a guardian and a backup guardian for your child(ren) in your will and/or other documents in the event that you are not able to care for them yourself.

For more information on how to protect yourself and your partner, please see our toolkit Take the Power.

For specific questions about life planning, help finding an attorney and/or financial advisor in your area, or information about including a planned gift to Lambda Legal in your will or other estate plans, contact Judi O’Kelley at jokelley@lambdalegal.org.