Ask Lambda Legal: Prom Time

Q: I finally worked up the courage to ask a guy in my class to be my date to my school's prom. I was happy when he said yes, but now I'm worried my school will say no to two guys taking each other to the prom. What should I do?

A: You shouldn't worry. While we can't promise that you won't have any problems, you do have laws that protect your right to take the date of your choice to the prom.

Prom time should be one of your best memories of your high school years—when you step onto the dance floor, you're not supposed to be stepping onto a battlefield. But as you're probably aware, that's what's happened in a handful of recent cases when teens have shown up with a same-sex prom date.

The fact is, courts decided more than 30 years ago that who you take to the prom is part of your constitutional right to free speech. The Constitution also says that the school can't single you out for special treatment—if other students get to bring their choice of date, so do you. That means that they can't require you to do anything—for instance, get your parents' permission to bring your date—that they don't ask of anyone else. (There are also laws that should protect your right to express yourself through your attire, as other students do. There have been mixed results in the courts, but Lambda Legal recently got a school system to apologize for barring a student based on attire.)

If you expect to encounter resistance, it helps to have people on your side. Start with your parents, and tell your principal and the person in charge of the prom that you intend to bring a date of the same sex. If you're concerned about reactions on-site, a letter from the principal recognizing your right to bring your date may be helpful, too—though we hope you won't have to use it. Once you're there, the school has the same responsibility to keep you safe as it does any other student. If you're harassed, report the incident to school officials, chaperones, security guards or whoever else is overseeing the event—and make sure that ultimately, the principal knows about it, too.

This prom season, millions of young people around the country are renting tuxedoes or buying dresses, worrying about whom to ask as their date (or who will ask them) and making plans for their school's biggest party of the year. Every year, among those millions, a growing number of courageous lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) students, who refuse to be excluded from the festivities, are exercising their right to bring a same-sex date of the same sex to the prom. If you're in public school and thinking of bringing a same-sex date to the prom this year, there are some important points to consider. Please note that this is not legal advice. If you think you've been kept from attending your prom or discriminated against once you've arrived, contact Lambda Legal or a local attorney.

We hope the biggest anxiety you face this prom season is that anxiety over asking out the right guy and that none of this information will be necessary. If you do encounter problems, let us know. You can contact our Help Desk or see our prom Q&A. To find more information on your rights in school, order or download a copy of Lambda Legal's Out, Safe & Respected tool kit.